So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
there's paper in my vomit.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
