i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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