I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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