Small penises have feelings too.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
