so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
