hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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