Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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