I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
