..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
