I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
