am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
