that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
