He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
