I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize