Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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