Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize