Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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