wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
