I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
How does one acquire holy water?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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