I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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