I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
only you would photoshop your dick
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
