hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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