my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize