I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
