Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
