Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
