The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
