I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
This show inspires me to have sex in space
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
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It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
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The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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