Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
