my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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