Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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