I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
