It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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