About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
