This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
