fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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