I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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