its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
