So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
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He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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