um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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