How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
