how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
