hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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