I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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