fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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