Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
