Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize