so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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