Christians are straight up FREAKS
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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