So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
