i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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