Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
