my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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