Small penises have feelings too.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
