I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
