i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
