Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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