just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
