STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
